Thoughts: Catfish

[sitaangel]

I don’t always get people who have online romantic relationships with people they’ve never met. It’s the people who fall in love with someone online and have a relationship with this person for years without ever meeting the person that I don’t get. Why haven’t they met yet?

In this day and age with webcams and the like, you should be able to ask the person you’re dating online to prove they are who they really say they are and they should be willing to prove it. When you watch a show like Catfish you realize just how many people are out there that are in an online relationship and they don’t truly know if the person is who they say they are. These people have to be so trusting and naive to date someone who has excuse after excuse as to why they can’t meet them or someone who won’t prove who they are on webcam. I really don’t get how someone can be that trusting. If I was dating someone online I would want to meet them and if the person kept coming up with excuses as to why they couldn’t meet me, I’d be like bye-bye.

I really don’t understand how someone can fall completely in love with a person they’ve never met either. I know that it does happen to people and I’m not saying it can’t. I just don’t understand how it happens. Maybe it is one of those things that would have to happen to you before you understand it??

My relationship with Willie, 80% of it was online. It had to be seeing as he lived halfway across the country. We had met on a dating site. After talking to him for a while I did think to myself I like this guy and I’d like to meet him. I did meet him and hung out with him before I decided to date him and it was sometime after that when I fell in love with him. I sometimes wonder if I would have still fallen in love with him if I hadn’t met him when I did. Hmm.

I will say that I do know the one good thing about online relationships is that you learn so much about the person because all you can do is talk.

So, any of you been in an online relationship with someone? If so, how did it come about and how did it go for you? What are your thoughts on this? I’m curious.

Comments

[taoteliung.livejournal.com]

I've had a couple different relationships that have had their starts online. While every situation has been unique, there has been constants that have proven to be consistent among all of them. Really though it's not much different from making a close friend online, the difference is just how much gravity getting a message from that person has in your life. Eventually I would reach a point where there was an acknowledgement that the highlight of my day was getting to talk to them, after which a conversation was had inquiring over the possibility of a next step. Though I have never had a reason to doubt who I was talking to, for one I'm paranoid by nature so there's always a period of verifying information before allowing anything to progress too far.

I hate to say it, but I'd actually prefer to start a relationship online. Just because whether we want to acknowledge it or not, we are creatures that are attracted to aesthetics. We sometimes let physical attraction dictate how we react around people... but the truth is beauty fades and in the end all that's left is conversation... which when dealing with online relationships, is the absolute staple. I admit that I've had some online relationships that have gone sour before we met in person... but these have been issues that revolve around communication... and I think talking online first shines in the regard. Communication is key to maintaining a relationship as well... so if you can make it work online, as long as people have been genuine... it should work fine in person as well.

I've just recently been introduced to the concept of catfishing though, and it's caused an increased hesitation towards meeting people online. I've actually made a ongoing commitment to representing who I am through text accurately, so upon suddenly realizing people actively aim to deceive others, has taken the flavor out of it.

I'm rambling, but I believe whole heartedly that love can be found through text. I believe distance can create a firm foundation quicker then a more local option and I also believe that the demands of maintaining a online relationship works as a built in filter to cycle out people who are "incompatible". But only when both people make an effort to be genuine... which if they truly are looking for something real, they will be. If not... well... even the local dating scene is filled with uncertainty of motive. Different medium, same problems.