Thoughts: Catfish

[sitaangel]

I don’t always get people who have online romantic relationships with people they’ve never met. It’s the people who fall in love with someone online and have a relationship with this person for years without ever meeting the person that I don’t get. Why haven’t they met yet?

In this day and age with webcams and the like, you should be able to ask the person you’re dating online to prove they are who they really say they are and they should be willing to prove it. When you watch a show like Catfish you realize just how many people are out there that are in an online relationship and they don’t truly know if the person is who they say they are. These people have to be so trusting and naive to date someone who has excuse after excuse as to why they can’t meet them or someone who won’t prove who they are on webcam. I really don’t get how someone can be that trusting. If I was dating someone online I would want to meet them and if the person kept coming up with excuses as to why they couldn’t meet me, I’d be like bye-bye.

I really don’t understand how someone can fall completely in love with a person they’ve never met either. I know that it does happen to people and I’m not saying it can’t. I just don’t understand how it happens. Maybe it is one of those things that would have to happen to you before you understand it??

My relationship with Willie, 80% of it was online. It had to be seeing as he lived halfway across the country. We had met on a dating site. After talking to him for a while I did think to myself I like this guy and I’d like to meet him. I did meet him and hung out with him before I decided to date him and it was sometime after that when I fell in love with him. I sometimes wonder if I would have still fallen in love with him if I hadn’t met him when I did. Hmm.

I will say that I do know the one good thing about online relationships is that you learn so much about the person because all you can do is talk.

So, any of you been in an online relationship with someone? If so, how did it come about and how did it go for you? What are your thoughts on this? I’m curious.

Comments

[blackheart19.livejournal.com]

With my disabilities the way they are, i've had a lot of online relationships 99% of them i've met up with and had proper face to face relationships with. This includes ben and this one has turned out rather well :D

I've had one online relationship that was solely online, this was because he lived in america and i live in england and neither of us have the money to go trooping halfway around the world to meet. But i've webcammed him, which was fun, nothing kinky, just chatting and i got to show him bits and pieces he found interesting, like tshirts, posters, etc. but we didn't do this until quite a long since it started, this was due to me being nervous about seeing people on webcam (autism: bad with meeting new people) and i didn't and couldn't afford a webcam myself. But we swapped photos back and forth, again, nothing kinky.

I don't like kinky stuff online and as soon as i talk to someone who starts to lean that way, i get suspicious and just block and delete them. Because clearly they have an agenda, other than just getting to know someone. But with dan, i never had that problem. I've known him for about 11 years this year and we had an on and off again romance for about 3 years before we just became good friends - our circumstances had changed because we had found other people that we were dating face to face, so we let it go. It wasn't a big thing, it was just nice. And it's good that we could flow and adapt like that. I still hear from him time to time and he's married now with a couple of kids and he knows about ben and we just have a bit of a catch up and we talk about history and religion - he's astrau.

So yeh, i think it works really well with some people, but others they prefer meeting face to face and getting to know someone that way. Whereas i prefer to get to know someone online, because you get to know their personality better, there's no other distractions. But you do have the risk of getting a person wrong. Ben is terrible online, he comes across as a bit of a weirdo lol and i did actually run the risk meeting him, but i had talked to him online and there was no kinky business. So in my mind i had judged him as being a certain way, but as i got to know him face to face i found him to be totally different. He's sweet and lovely and totally not a jerk that i had misjudged him to be. So yeh... Not sure where i'm going with this now haha.