Thoughts: Toxic Family

[sitaangel]

Blood is thicker than water.

I agree with that statement and that is how it should be with family. Family should stick together. However, if you have a family member that is a toxic person, you shouldn’t be expected to stick up for them or to overlook their behavior.

I fully believe that in order to live the best life you can, you need to cut out the toxic people in your life. All that those people add to your life is drama. You don’t need drama in your life. You don’t need other people causing problems for you or even being a danger to you.

Toxic could mean just about every bad behavior that is really bad. If someone is a pathological liar, a thief, someone who commits horrendous crimes (rape/murder), or someone who has a temper that could lead them to eventually harm someone else someday (to name a few behaviors I believe to be toxic). Those types of people you shouldn’t have to put up with even if they are family. Like I said in the beginning, if you have a family member that is toxic you should be able to cut them out of your life until they stop being toxic.

I’ve run across a lot of people who disagree with me (my own family included). I’m always told you should stick by your family member no matter how toxic they are because they are family. You just don’t turn your back on family. I’ve asked some of these people why is it so wrong to cut someone out of your life who is making your life a living hell so that you can have a better life. And all that most of them can say is that would make you a very selfish person.

I call bullshit. It is not being selfish by trying to keep the negative out of your life. It is not some horrible thing to cut a toxic family member out of your life. That is what I think and I am sticking to it. :)

If you are reading this from my LJ there will be another post coming about my very own toxic family member and the crap that has been going on lately.

Comments

[temporary-title.livejournal.com]

i agree with that.
it ends up causing you too much pain.

but sometimes cutting them out causes you too much pain too. i think eventually though, its for the best.

i cut my dad out years ago emotionally. he is just now getting better. but we will never again have the relationship he wants.

[anxious-hearts.livejournal.com]

I've all but disowned a sibling. I understand where you're coming from.

[jellyfish-ape.livejournal.com]

I'm with you. Love and respect are earned, even with family.

[blackheart19.livejournal.com]

agreed, doesn't make you selfish at all, it's the same type of people who say stuff like 'well when you go out dressed like that, you're just asking for trouble' and 'oh lots of kids get bullied, it's just part of growing up' bullocks! Of course it's always a very different matter when it happens to them.

[benevolentiae.livejournal.com]

I 100 percent agree with all of you what you said.

[nayish.livejournal.com]

I agree with you 100%. I haven't spoken to my mother in a bit over 7 months, mainly due to the fact that I finally stood up to her putting these horrible men she chooses in her life, above me (her child). But it's a long story involving family history, breaking the cycle, blahblahblah. I dont regret my decision at all though.

[richard-vw.livejournal.com]

Yes, blood is thicker than water in the sense that my family has been forgiven for things that I undoubtedly would have disowned a friend over, no questions asked, but that doesn't mean they can do absolutely anything and I've to still say "Oh, but they're family." You're right, that is bullshit.