Thoughts: Trust
Jun. 20th, 2012 11:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sitaangelI think trust is the most important part of a relationship. Sure, love is important too. Love will get you to the point of wanting to be with someone for the rest of your life and it'll keep you feeling that way. But, if you don't have trust it's not going to matter how much you love the person.
The way I see it, if you get into a relationship with someone you know you can't trust, then you are just plain stupid. Why would you be with someone untrustworthy? If you think you can change them, that's not likely to happen. Don't even waste your time.
If you have issues with trust that are going to keep you from trusting your trustworthy partner, then you shouldn't have gotten into a relationship with them. You should have worked on your trust issues before getting into a relationship with anyone. It's not fair to the other person. You never trusting them is only going to wear on them and eventually make them unhappy in the relationship. That's the only way your trust issues are going to make the relationship turn out. Do yourself and every potential partner a favor and work on those issues before getting into a relationship.
Me personally, I've had many trust issues and still do. However, I've never let them affect my ability to trust the person I am with. After what happened after the last guy I dated my ability to trust new people was shattered.
The things this guy did and said after we broke up were horrible. It left me not knowing how I could trust anyone new. Who is to say the next guy wouldn't do the same thing? Knowing that someone could do that to me again made me not want to trust anyone.
I was not able to trust. And even had I been able to trust, I didn't even want to. I try to live what I preach. After that relationship I knew I had to stay single for a good while. I knew I had to work on my trust issues (and myself) until I could and wanted to trust someone new. It's taken a while. I've been single for over a year now. But, I feel I'm finally in a place where I can trust again. I also want to trust again. Now would be the time to start looking for a relationship.
But, see? That is how it should be done. If you have trust issues don't get into a relationship until you know you can let yourself trust the other person.
It's a common sense theory, really.
The way I see it, if you get into a relationship with someone you know you can't trust, then you are just plain stupid. Why would you be with someone untrustworthy? If you think you can change them, that's not likely to happen. Don't even waste your time.
If you have issues with trust that are going to keep you from trusting your trustworthy partner, then you shouldn't have gotten into a relationship with them. You should have worked on your trust issues before getting into a relationship with anyone. It's not fair to the other person. You never trusting them is only going to wear on them and eventually make them unhappy in the relationship. That's the only way your trust issues are going to make the relationship turn out. Do yourself and every potential partner a favor and work on those issues before getting into a relationship.
Me personally, I've had many trust issues and still do. However, I've never let them affect my ability to trust the person I am with. After what happened after the last guy I dated my ability to trust new people was shattered.
The things this guy did and said after we broke up were horrible. It left me not knowing how I could trust anyone new. Who is to say the next guy wouldn't do the same thing? Knowing that someone could do that to me again made me not want to trust anyone.
I was not able to trust. And even had I been able to trust, I didn't even want to. I try to live what I preach. After that relationship I knew I had to stay single for a good while. I knew I had to work on my trust issues (and myself) until I could and wanted to trust someone new. It's taken a while. I've been single for over a year now. But, I feel I'm finally in a place where I can trust again. I also want to trust again. Now would be the time to start looking for a relationship.
But, see? That is how it should be done. If you have trust issues don't get into a relationship until you know you can let yourself trust the other person.
It's a common sense theory, really.
