Jun. 3rd, 2013

sitaangel: (Default)
Okay, this is where my paranoia tends to run rampant.

A couple of months ago I had the privilege of talking to some random guy I didn’t know. I say it was a privilege because he had this attitude that it was a privilege to be talking to him. He was a arrogant SOB to be honest. BUT. Once you got past that he was actually a very interesting person to talk to. He had a lot of interesting thoughts on various topics and it really did make for great conversation. I enjoyed that conversation with him more than I’ve enjoyed any other conversation in a while.

The conversation was normal for the most part too. Well, until the end when he started hitting on me and tried to kiss me. And then I had to say ‘whoa dude, back the hell off’ because I was just not interested in him that way. I didn’t like the arrogance he displayed and more importantly, something just seemed off about him. Well, sure as shit something was off about him. It came to light after the fact, that he had a girlfriend. What the hell guy. It pisses me off that he never even mentioned he had a girlfriend (in fact he did say he was single) and it really pisses me off that he was trying to hit on me when he should not have been. Don’t you care about your girlfriend? I don’t even know her and it seems like I care about her more than you do. Ugh.

This is not the first time I’ve had unavailable guys hit on me. And usually I just give them a piece of my mind and move on. This time, for some reason, just really got to me. I can’t figure out why either. Maybe he was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back. Maybe I’ve just gotten so fed up with unavailable guys hitting on me and thinking I’ll go there with them that I’ve just gone all paranoid.

By paranoid I’m talking about how now whenever I start talking to guy I don’t already know I’m constantly asking them throughout the conversation if they are single. Are you sure you’re single? Really, really sure? You’re probably lying. Hello Jamie. Neurotic much? Good lord. And that’s just when I’m talking to the poor guy with no other intentions whatsoever.

It really shouldn’t matter if a guy is single or not when you are having a perfectly innocent, normal conversation with him. But, let’s face it, it does matter. People can get so bent out of shape when you are talking to an unavailable person. Omg, he’s taken you shouldn’t even say hi to him let alone talk to him! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people look at me all weird because I dared talked to someone. Just because I talk to the guy doesn’t mean I want to jump into bed with him. Get that straight you fucking idiots. Get over yourselves, you do the same damn thing. And yes, I’ve really already worked through my issues on this and have stopped caring about what other people think. Really, I have. I promise.

Or maybe I haven’t completely worked through my issues on that topic. I think part of the reason why I’m now so paranoid about talking to a guy that is already taken is because I do know what other people are thinking. Yeah, okay. So, I haven’t completely stopped caring about what other people think. I really need to work on that. But, the biggest reason is I’ve had so many guys lie about their status lately and then try to hit on me that it’s hard not to be paranoid about it all. Every new guy I’ve talked to since, I’ve kind of looked at him all side-eyed, wondering if he’s genuine or if he’s a slimy bastard trying to get something on the side. Surely, I won’t mind if I don’t know, right? Meh. YES I DO MIND. STOP IT ALREADY.

And, once again, that paranoia occurs when I’m just talking to someone. Can you imagine what my thoughts are going to be when I’m trying to find someone to date? I can imagine. Clearly, I’m really hung up on the dating topic lately. That’s just because I am trying to make up my mind about whether or not I should jump back into the dating scene or not. My indecisiveness needs to stop. I know this. And I know I tend to over think things way too much.

I’ll figure it out eventually. More on the actual topic of dating and my indecisiveness to come later.


sitaangel: (Default)

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