sitaangel: (Default)
I wrote my Who Am I? ~ The Perfect Moments Edition over three years ago and since then I’ve had two more perfect moments to happen that should be added to what I originally shared with you all. These moments happened fairly close together and oddly enough (or not) they both happened with Donovan.

The first moment happened last December. I had gone up to visit Donovan for a night. Before I left the next day we went to Stillwater, MN to putz around. It had been the Saturday before Christmas and for that time of year it was actually pretty decent out. We spent the late morning/early afternoon walking around to the various antique shops. It was fun; he likes antiquing just as much as I do. I told him I was on the lookout for old wooden boxes to buy. I do believe I told him I wasn’t willing to spend a lot of money on them, but every box he brought to show me was almost always expensive. After we got tired of antiquing we went to a little restaurant for lunch. While we were there Santa came in. He talked to all the kids in the place and every adult, he shook their hand. A bit after he left a bunch of carolers came in and sang a few songs. It was pretty neat. I look back on that day and it was just perfect.

The second moment happened last January when I again went and visited Donovan. The last night I was there we just stayed in. We decided to watch Psych from the beginning. We drank, a lot, and played different card games. He, for the record, is a sore winner (holy hell does he know how to gloat). There is not much to say about that night, but we could have another night doing that exact same thing or something similar and it’ll never compare. It was just perfect.
sitaangel: (Default)
Bullshit. Whoever said time heals all has never been hurt. Time does not heal all.

Time does lessen the pain, though.

It has been years and years and years since I lost Jason and guess what? It still hurts. The day he died is still the hardest day of the year for me. Time has lessened the pain and made it more bearable. The first year after his death was absolute hell and on the first anniversary of his death I hid from the world and let self pity take over. And I cried a lot. To be honest, it was like that for the second and third and fourth years too. By the fifth anniversary of his death…I finally got out of the self pity mode. It still hurt like hell, though. On that one and in subsequent ones, I often times was useless on that day. As the years went by the more the pain lessened and the better I was able to manage each anniversary of his death.

Now? Now I can spend most of the day not dwelling on him and what we had and how much it hurt to lose him. Now it’s only in those moments before sleep that I think about him and mourn the life I should have been able to have with him.

Yes. Time does not heal, darlings; not at all. It will hurt until the day you die, but time will make you stronger and lessen the pain.
sitaangel: (Default)
I don't even know what I want to say. I really don't.

I'm not a horribly picky person. I never have been. I know all the big things I'm looking for in a relationship. I know what my deal breakers are. They aren't that many, really. I'm kind of simple like that. I don't ask for the world.

Yet, when I sit here and think about the small things a person can do to make me feel good in a relationship, I start to think I'm getting entirely way too picky.

I don't know. I just need someone who is willing to let me know I'm wanted.

Talk to me when we're not together. Be the one who initiates contact first sometimes. Don't make me be the one to do so all the time. Let me know you're thinking about me when we're not together. Don't be afraid to tell everyone and anyone that we're together.

All that seems like common sense things to do. Yet, apparently I can't find anyone who will actually do any of that. So, then I start to wonder if I am asking for too much. Is that too much to ask for?

It's not a good feeling knowing that you could probably go days without talking to someone if you didn't contact them first.

I should be able to want someone who isn't going to make me feel that way without feeling like I'm asking for too much. But, I do anyhow. meh.

Is that how dating works these days? One person puts in all the effort and the other person doesn't?

If it is, I'm going to really wonder why I thought dating again was such a good idea. Haha.
sitaangel: (Default)
You guys, this is going to be short and sweet.

I wrote my Love v2 Edition back in July 2011. Sadly, nothing has really changed since I wrote that. I've spent the majority of the past two years single with a couple of very short-lived relationships. Those relationships didn't really teach me anything other than that I'm still very good at picking the wrong guys to date. Way to go me.

I am still looking. Giving up still isn't in my nature. I still believe that I will find what I am looking for. Yep, I still have a wall up. But, I will say I'm a lot more open to taking it down. I just need to find someone worthy enough for me to do that. And what I wrote in my first edition is still so very, very true:

I may not believe in the happy ever after that little girls believe in. Or even the happy ever after the less jaded believe in. But I do believe in a happy ever after that has love and while it may be hard it will be very, very much worth it in the end. After everything, I deserve that.

Though, of course, my favorite quote about love is still this:

Love is a perky elf dancing a merry little jig and then suddenly he turns on you with a miniature machine gun. ~ Matt Groening

Only because love hasn't been anything but something like that for me in a very long time.


Now, this edition has been titled v3.1 and that is because I reserve the right to update the Love Edition to v3.2 before another two years have passed if anything has changed. If nothing changes before another two years have passed, keep an eye out for my Love v4 Edition. :)
sitaangel: (Default)
The effort that you put into a relationship should be the same as the effort your partner puts in. If you're putting in 100% then your partner had damn well better be putting in 100% too. If you are putting more effort into the relationship than your partner is then...

RUN! Get the hell out of that relationship because there is likely something wrong and it just ain't going to work.

Unless, of course, you like being treated like crap and constantly wondering if your partner wants to be with you. Then that would be a great relationship for you, I guess.

This is what I've learned thus far:

1. You shouldn't have to be the one who always makes plans to see your partner. If your partner wants to be with you they will have no problems calling you up and saying 'hey, let's do this'.

2. You shouldn't have to be the one who is always going over to the other person's home. It should be you visit them, they visit you, you visit them, they visit you, etc. Unless one of you likes being the one to always visit the other.

3. You shouldn't have to be the one who is always calling them or texting them or whatever. If your partner really wants to be with you and knows the value of communication, they will do their fair share of calling you up or texting you or whatever.

4. If you are always doing your best to make time to see them or at the very least talk to them, you have every right to expect your partner to do the same thing. I don't care how busy you and your partner are, you make time to see or talk to each other. If your partner doesn't do that, they probably don't care if they are with you or not.

I think all of the above is very reasonable. I know some may disagree with me, but that's the way I see things.

It takes two to make a relationship work.
sitaangel: (Default)
It's taken me forever to get this entry written. I've started it a few times only to scratch everything and start over again. In the end this entry is really going to be short and sweet.

I could sit here and list all the reasons why I'm unsure about jumping back into the dating scene, but really, what is the point of that?

Yes, I am really paranoid about people pretending to be something they are not. After having my last three exes turn out to not be decent guys at all and flip out on me when the relationships ended, how can I not be?

Yes, I am scared, to some extent, of letting someone close to me. I don't want my heart broken yet again or getting screwed over yet again.

But, at some point I have to tell my fears and paranoia to fuck off. If I can ignore my trust issues, I can ignore those too. The biggest reason I've decided to jump back into the dating scene? I'm tired of being lonely. It's as simple as that.

Now that I have started dating again. I'm bound determined to find a decent guy to date. Dammit, I won't stop until I find someone who deserves me. ;)

See? Short and sweet. And for those reading this on LJ, there is actually more to come in an entry just for LJ. Lol
sitaangel: (Default)
Okay, this is where my paranoia tends to run rampant.

A couple of months ago I had the privilege of talking to some random guy I didn’t know. I say it was a privilege because he had this attitude that it was a privilege to be talking to him. He was a arrogant SOB to be honest. BUT. Once you got past that he was actually a very interesting person to talk to. He had a lot of interesting thoughts on various topics and it really did make for great conversation. I enjoyed that conversation with him more than I’ve enjoyed any other conversation in a while.

The conversation was normal for the most part too. Well, until the end when he started hitting on me and tried to kiss me. And then I had to say ‘whoa dude, back the hell off’ because I was just not interested in him that way. I didn’t like the arrogance he displayed and more importantly, something just seemed off about him. Well, sure as shit something was off about him. It came to light after the fact, that he had a girlfriend. What the hell guy. It pisses me off that he never even mentioned he had a girlfriend (in fact he did say he was single) and it really pisses me off that he was trying to hit on me when he should not have been. Don’t you care about your girlfriend? I don’t even know her and it seems like I care about her more than you do. Ugh.

This is not the first time I’ve had unavailable guys hit on me. And usually I just give them a piece of my mind and move on. This time, for some reason, just really got to me. I can’t figure out why either. Maybe he was the straw that finally broke the camel’s back. Maybe I’ve just gotten so fed up with unavailable guys hitting on me and thinking I’ll go there with them that I’ve just gone all paranoid.

By paranoid I’m talking about how now whenever I start talking to guy I don’t already know I’m constantly asking them throughout the conversation if they are single. Are you sure you’re single? Really, really sure? You’re probably lying. Hello Jamie. Neurotic much? Good lord. And that’s just when I’m talking to the poor guy with no other intentions whatsoever.

It really shouldn’t matter if a guy is single or not when you are having a perfectly innocent, normal conversation with him. But, let’s face it, it does matter. People can get so bent out of shape when you are talking to an unavailable person. Omg, he’s taken you shouldn’t even say hi to him let alone talk to him! I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had people look at me all weird because I dared talked to someone. Just because I talk to the guy doesn’t mean I want to jump into bed with him. Get that straight you fucking idiots. Get over yourselves, you do the same damn thing. And yes, I’ve really already worked through my issues on this and have stopped caring about what other people think. Really, I have. I promise.

Or maybe I haven’t completely worked through my issues on that topic. I think part of the reason why I’m now so paranoid about talking to a guy that is already taken is because I do know what other people are thinking. Yeah, okay. So, I haven’t completely stopped caring about what other people think. I really need to work on that. But, the biggest reason is I’ve had so many guys lie about their status lately and then try to hit on me that it’s hard not to be paranoid about it all. Every new guy I’ve talked to since, I’ve kind of looked at him all side-eyed, wondering if he’s genuine or if he’s a slimy bastard trying to get something on the side. Surely, I won’t mind if I don’t know, right? Meh. YES I DO MIND. STOP IT ALREADY.

And, once again, that paranoia occurs when I’m just talking to someone. Can you imagine what my thoughts are going to be when I’m trying to find someone to date? I can imagine. Clearly, I’m really hung up on the dating topic lately. That’s just because I am trying to make up my mind about whether or not I should jump back into the dating scene or not. My indecisiveness needs to stop. I know this. And I know I tend to over think things way too much.

I’ll figure it out eventually. More on the actual topic of dating and my indecisiveness to come later.
sitaangel: (Default)
When it comes to whether I should jump back into the dating scene or not – I’ve been so damn indecisive. I can’t make up my mind. At the rate it is taking me to decide, I may never date again.

I am tired of being alone. It would be so nice to have a man. Someone to call my own; someone to call me his. And all that crap. But..

Do I really want to deal with all the stuff that comes with trying to date?? Having to meet someone and get to know them and try to figure out if they like you or not and then deciding if they are worth dating or not.. Good lord. That can be exhausting.

And let’s not forget – I really don’t know if I can trust my judgment. The last three guys I’ve dated ended up flipping out on me after we broke up. One was an ass while we were dating. Another one was a needy fucker that made me feel like I could never do anything right. The third.. He was nice (until we broke up), but my feelings never grew for him. What can ya do? So, if I do start dating again, I’ll be constantly wondering if this guy or that guy will turn out to be an asshole in the end like the last three.

How do I find a guy that really is a decent guy? One that won’t flip out on me should the relationship happen to end. Are there any guys out there who are really who they say they are? I haven’t met very many guys who don’t lie about themselves. That’s sad.

What is a girl to do?

(And the rest of this entry will have to wait until I get my thoughts straight, hah.)

Umm..

Mar. 16th, 2013 03:25 pm
sitaangel: (Girl w/ green eyeshadow)
If you notice you're not on my friends list anymore.. Don't worry, I didn't mean to remove you. I was trying to delete a couple of deleted journals and somehow ended up removing a bunch of other people. I have no idea how the hell I managed that. I'm currently trying to fix my mistake.

[Edit] Added everyone back. I think I'll avoid trying to remove any dead journals until I'm on a computer, hah.
sitaangel: (Girl w/ green eyeshadow)


So I'm sitting at the mall waiting for my car to get done. I've bee here for two hours now and I'm looking at another hour at least before my car is done. What should have been a $107 bill for a tire has turned into a $537 bill for a tire, tie rod, and other things. Fml. Apparently I put off getting the tie rod fixed for too long. *sigh*

 

Mum is letting me put $400 of that on her credit card and I have to have the money by March 10th. I'm gonna have to go to dad and beg him to loan me at least $300 of that. Then I could pay him back in a couple of months. I hope like hell he will because if he won't, I'll be well and thoroughly screwed.

 

This was the perfect way for a crappy week to end. Bah.

Hmm

Feb. 7th, 2013 04:31 pm
sitaangel: (Default)
This whole thing with not having internet has completely screwed up my daily routine. Well, messed with it more so in the morning. I didn't think about how it was going to mess with my routine. I didn't know what to do with myself this morning and so I ended up taking a nap. Which, of course, made me feel very unproductive. Hah. *sigh*

Tomorrow morning I have to go to Sears and get a new tire. Talk about leaving it to the last minute. Hah. When Cage gets home from school tomorrow afternoon it will be off to Coloma we go. The roads had better be fine by then.

Anyhow.
sitaangel: (Default)
I don’t always get people who have online romantic relationships with people they’ve never met. It’s the people who fall in love with someone online and have a relationship with this person for years without ever meeting the person that I don’t get. Why haven’t they met yet?

In this day and age with webcams and the like, you should be able to ask the person you’re dating online to prove they are who they really say they are and they should be willing to prove it. When you watch a show like Catfish you realize just how many people are out there that are in an online relationship and they don’t truly know if the person is who they say they are. These people have to be so trusting and naive to date someone who has excuse after excuse as to why they can’t meet them or someone who won’t prove who they are on webcam. I really don’t get how someone can be that trusting. If I was dating someone online I would want to meet them and if the person kept coming up with excuses as to why they couldn’t meet me, I’d be like bye-bye.

I really don’t understand how someone can fall completely in love with a person they’ve never met either. I know that it does happen to people and I’m not saying it can’t. I just don’t understand how it happens. Maybe it is one of those things that would have to happen to you before you understand it??

My relationship with Willie, 80% of it was online. It had to be seeing as he lived halfway across the country. We had met on a dating site. After talking to him for a while I did think to myself I like this guy and I’d like to meet him. I did meet him and hung out with him before I decided to date him and it was sometime after that when I fell in love with him. I sometimes wonder if I would have still fallen in love with him if I hadn’t met him when I did. Hmm.

I will say that I do know the one good thing about online relationships is that you learn so much about the person because all you can do is talk.

So, any of you been in an online relationship with someone? If so, how did it come about and how did it go for you? What are your thoughts on this? I’m curious.
sitaangel: (Default)
Blood is thicker than water.

I agree with that statement and that is how it should be with family. Family should stick together. However, if you have a family member that is a toxic person, you shouldn’t be expected to stick up for them or to overlook their behavior.

I fully believe that in order to live the best life you can, you need to cut out the toxic people in your life. All that those people add to your life is drama. You don’t need drama in your life. You don’t need other people causing problems for you or even being a danger to you.

Toxic could mean just about every bad behavior that is really bad. If someone is a pathological liar, a thief, someone who commits horrendous crimes (rape/murder), or someone who has a temper that could lead them to eventually harm someone else someday (to name a few behaviors I believe to be toxic). Those types of people you shouldn’t have to put up with even if they are family. Like I said in the beginning, if you have a family member that is toxic you should be able to cut them out of your life until they stop being toxic.

I’ve run across a lot of people who disagree with me (my own family included). I’m always told you should stick by your family member no matter how toxic they are because they are family. You just don’t turn your back on family. I’ve asked some of these people why is it so wrong to cut someone out of your life who is making your life a living hell so that you can have a better life. And all that most of them can say is that would make you a very selfish person.

I call bullshit. It is not being selfish by trying to keep the negative out of your life. It is not some horrible thing to cut a toxic family member out of your life. That is what I think and I am sticking to it. :)

If you are reading this from my LJ there will be another post coming about my very own toxic family member and the crap that has been going on lately.
sitaangel: (Default)
These are some of the moments in horse racing that I consider top moments. :)

1. I'll Have Another wins the Kentucky Derby. This is a top moment for me for two reasons. First, I'll Have Another showed, to some, just how good of a racehorse he could be. And secondly, the race showed just how good of a racehorse Bodemeister was. He out-sprinted the sprinter to get the lead right off the bat and set insanely fast fractions - some of the fastest fractions seen in years in the Kentucky Derby. And yet, he damn near ran away with the race.




2. I'll Have Another wins the Preakness Stakes. His critics said after the Kentucky Derby that he wouldn't be able to win the Preakness Stakes. It was a shorter race and this time Bodemeister would set more reasonable fractions. No way I'll Have Another beats Bodemeister. Wrong. I'll Have Another wins and does finally convince pretty much everyone he is a very good racehorse.




3. Alpha wins the Travers in a dead-heat with Golden Ticket. Everyone said Alpha didn't have a chance to win. The weight he would have to carry was too much for a small horse such as himself. He proved them wrong. :) One of the most exciting finishes this year.




4. Royal Delta wins the BC Distaff (Ladies' Classic) for the second year in a row. One of the very few horses to win back-to-back BC Distaffs.




5. Shortly after the race, a loud ovation could be heard from the grandstand. The natural assumption was that it was for I'll Have Another returning to the winner's circle. But a glance up the stretch revealed that the ovation was for none other than the peerless pony himself, Lava Man, who was heading down the stretch to wait for his buddy. Enough said. :)
sitaangel: (Default)
I have this theory about what I call perfect moments. To me perfect moments are the moments in time that after they happen, you say to yourself that was perfect. Other people might have a different definition of perfect. To me, when I say something was perfect it means that no matter how hard I tried, I wouldn’t be able to recreate that moment.

My theory is simple: It’s the perfect moments in life that make life truly worth living for. That’s not to say that I think perfect moments are the only thing worth living for. Everyone has good times or good moments that make life worth living, but I think it’s the perfect moments that are most cherished. Perfect moments for me come far and few, but I look forward to the perfect moments to come and I cherish the ones I’ve already had.

These moments can happen with anyone or anything. They are perfect for what they are. Some of my perfect moments:

• When Dave and I were dating I went to his house one night to visit him. He was out in his garage fixing a lawn mower. I sat and talked to him while he worked. At one point a song came on the radio and he knew it was a song (Crash and Burn by Savage Garden) I liked. He asked me to dance and we danced. Dancing in his garage with him was a perfect moment. I could dance with a hundred times with someone in their garage and none of those times would come close to the time I danced with Dave.

• The kids and I were home alone one night. It was during the winter. The snow on the ground made it seem less dark outside. We turned off all the lights in the house and went around in the dark trying to scare each other. This was the first time we had done this and it was one of my perfect moments. We have since done the same thing many, many times, but none of those times have ever come close to that first time.


• Watching a TV show about the Great Wall of China on the history channel with my friend Mike. We added our own commentary to the show and to this day it still remains the most hilarious conversation I’ve ever had with anyone. It was a perfect moment. I suspect we could watch some other show someday, adding our own commentary to it and it wouldn’t be the same.

• When I visited Willie in South Carolina there was one night that we went out by ourselves. At one point we sat in his truck in a parking lot and just talked for a long time. Then he had gotten it in his head to show me a lake that he really liked going to. He didn’t tell me where we were going until we got there, but that only helped make it a perfect moment. That whole night was just a perfect moment.


• The first time I ever hung out with Jack alone after meeting him was a perfect moment. He came over and he brought books. I’d say he was a guy after my own heart, but well, he wasn’t. Hah. We decided to go out to eat for supper. We didn’t have any specific place in mind and we kind of just drove around aimlessly until we ended up in Black River Falls. Just driving around and sharing the music we like with each other was great. After we ate we went back to his house and just listened to more music. It just was a perfect night with someone who I would eventually consider a good friend.

And there you have it – a handful of my perfect moments. I only have a few others that I haven’t written about. As I said before, they come far and few in between for me. The last one I had was with Willie. I’m looking forward to the next moment I can look back on and say it was perfect.
sitaangel: (Flower)
1. The Wiccan Spell Manual By: Sirona Knight

This is a good book for beginners. For more experienced practitioners it could be used as a quick reference guide if you don't already know the information like the back of your hand. :)

2. How To Turn Your Ex-Boyfriend into a Toad and Other Spells By: Athena Starwoman

A few months ago I had bought some used books that someone was selling as a set. This was one of the books in the set. I wouldn't have bought this book by itself as it seems geared more toward younger people. It was a quick read. That is about all I have to say about this book.

3. Book of Shadows By: Phyllis Curettage

This is a book I try to reread at least once a year. It is such a good book and I've always been drawn to it.

More this way.. )
sitaangel: (Default)
While I’m not sure where I should start, I guess this is as good of a place as any: lucid dreaming.

Until a few years ago I didn’t even know there was a word(s) to describe how I dream. Lucid dreaming is something I’ve always been able to do naturally. All my dreams have been lucid dreams ever since I can remember. I know I’m dreaming. I remember all my dreams. And I can control my dreams. I used to control my dreams almost all the time just because I could. Lately, I’ve realized my dreams are more fun if I just let them go where they may go, especially my crazy weird dreams.

I also have the ability to I guess you could say choose what I am going to dream about. It’s different than going to bed thinking about something and then ending up dreaming about that. I’m asleep and I just decide I want to dream about something specific. I can wake up in the middle of a dream and the next time I go to sleep I can pick up right where I left off in the dream if I wanted to. A few years ago I had this dream about cartoon dinosaurs taking over this city. Most of the people in the city were trying to get out, but I was with a group of people who weren’t going to be run out of the city by these dinosaurs and so we all decided to go bar hopping. I had the same dream a few months later, but this time I was trying to get out of the city. Ever since then I’ve made it a reoccurring dream and have made it my mission to explore every single building in this city. I’m about a third of the way through the city and so far every single building has been a bar or restaurant. And despite some close calls, the cartoon dinosaurs haven’t gotten me yet.

I dream very vividly and my dreams feel so real. I’ll wake up in the mornings and my dreams feel like they actually happened the day or night before. Of course, with my crazy weird dreams I know they didn’t really happen. But, sometimes when my dreams are absolutely normal I’ll wake up the next morning and it will take me a while to figure out if it was something that actually happened or if it was something I just dreamt.

All my dreams may feel real, but I have these dreams that I call my ‘real dreams’. These dreams feel real like all the rest, but they feel real in a different sort of way. I can’t really explain how. I just know when I have one of these dreams they are different than the rest of my dreams.

Thirteen years ago I lived in La Crosse for a while. I didn’t have a car at the time so I had to take the bus to work. One night I had a dream that I woke up late one morning and missed the bus I had to take to get to work on time. I was at the bus stop waiting for the next bus when three people came up and asked me if the bus had come yet. I told them I hoped it hadn’t because I’m late for work. They told me they hoped so too because they were really late for work. They should have caught the bus before the one I needed to get on normally. I was so surprised when they walked up because these people were people I actually worked with and didn’t even know they lived in the same area as me. Anyhow, the morning after I had that dream I woke up…late. I missed the bus I was suppose to take and was waiting for the next bus to come when three people walked up and asked me if the bus had come yet. I told them I hoped it hadn’t because I’m late for work. They told me they hoped so too because they were really late for work. It was about then I realized I dreamed this happening the night before. It kind of scared the crap out of me at first, ha. Ever since then I continually have dreams that end up actually happening. It’s never anything big or important. I’ll dream about a conversation I have with someone or going out to eat with someone or running into someone I haven’t seen in a long while, etc. These dreams feel different and so when I have one, it’ll get written down in a separate notebook. When the dream actually happens I’ll go back and write down when it happened.

This concludes my Dreams Edition Part 1. I have more to write about my dreams, but I don’t want everyone thinking I’m crazy, so the rest of it will get its own entry that won’t be posted to my dreamwidth account.

If you dream you fall off a cliff and watch yourself hit bottom, you don’t really die. I pushed myself off a cliff once to see what would happen..
sitaangel: (LJ <3)
So, after nearly a decade at this site, LJ finally does something that makes me actually rage. No popcorn and laughing as the masses storm to news posts complaining, this time I'm actually worried.

A while back I was invited to help out with BETA testing new LJ services (I got this invite via [livejournal.com profile] lj_releases).

They have just announced BETA testing of a new friendslist.

LJ is planning on redoing everyone's friendslists in the style of the new comment page and update page. They want to copy tumblr and make your friendslist into a dashboard-like system page (infinite scrolling and all). It's also been renamed to "feed" (this I don't mind too much, though). In fact the whole dashboard idea with infinite scrolling wouldn't be so bad if it weren't for the fact that everyone will be locked to one specific layout. The system style comment pages are bad enough, but now I'll have to strain my eyes reading my flist? That defeats the purpose of this entire site. The font, use of whitespace, oversized boxes and UI elements ... all contribute to making the page difficult to read, on a site where all you do is read. Aaaah. Even just the possibility of adjusting the font (style and size) would make this suggestion easier to swallow, but it's still not something I'd want for my journal. It would not improve my LJ experience in any way (in fact it would most likely make my daily LJ activities more time consuming).

Now, I wasn't able to make the BETA page display my own friendslist, so I apologise to the random users who are featured in the screenshot, but to give everyone an idea, the below image shows you what your friendslist probably will look like in a couple of months.


(Click for big)


I never switched over from Dystopia, so that adds to the weirdness. You're going to have to picture this with the standard LiveJournal drop down navigation + no blue sidebar to the left. Click the screenshots for bigger versions.

Top of page with links to journal, archive, profile


Example of text heavy post as displayed on friendslist


New buttons to the right replace the navigation strip. One tab for filters


One tab for Archive/Calendar, you can filter your feed to display posts from one specific date. These buttons follow along as you scroll down the page (infinite scrolling).



All friendslists will look the same.

Snippet from the locked post at [livejournal.com profile] lj_releases:
The friends page has been redesigned as a system page for all users, and is now available for Beta testers. There is a link at the top of your friends page allowing you to switch between the new and old versions, and will later go into public beta testing. You can switch back and forth between both versions throughout beta testing.

PUBLIC POST AT [livejournal.com profile] lj_releases ABOUT THE NEW FRIENDSLIST: http://lj-releases.livejournal.com/79480.html.

You can also see the proposed changes for yourself by enabling the BETA on your own journal (instructions from [livejournal.com profile] ruljautonews):
It's trivially easy to test beta features.
1) Go to [livejournal.com profile] lj_ru_beta and request to join.
2) Wait to get confirmation that you've been accepted into the community (this could take a few hours.)
3) Go to this page and choose Go To under Beta.
4) That's it, you're now testing the beta release. All site-scheme pages should now display a big "BETA BETA BETA BETA BETA BETA" in yellow letters across the top.
5) You could make comments in the [livejournal.com profile] lj_ru_beta post, but if you do please keep this in mind: the majority of commenters there don't speak English and if they do it's not their primary language. Machine translation of Russian is lousy. "My hovercraft is full of eels" lousy. While you can engage in basic dialogue and get a feel for what the other person is saying, don't get too hung up on anyone's phrasing.

You can easily switch back to the old version.

Make sure you let LJ know what you think of these proposed changes, I can't be the only one who thinks this is a horrible idea.

ETA: It's nice to see that I'm not the only one worried about the proposed changes, but please direct your feedback through the proper channels. This is a private journal, I have no affiliation with LJ. Please also be respectful when addressing the LJ staff. They are just doing their jobs. Thanks!

ETA2: Russian news post about the BETA test: http://lj-ru-beta.livejournal.com/7013.html

ETA3: Added more screenshots.

ETA4: Additional info at [livejournal.com profile] ruljautonews: http://ruljautonews.livejournal.com/27964.html

ETA5: An update on the new site scheme.

ETA6: Public beta has now been announced. Official announcement.

ETA7 (really?): RUSSIAN NEWS POSTS CONFIRM PAGINATION AND ABILITY TO CUSTOMIZE FONT AND BACKGROUND IN THE FUTURE, [livejournal.com profile] ruljautonews HAS MORE: http://ruljautonews.livejournal.com/28207.html

Aww :(

Aug. 28th, 2012 10:43 pm
sitaangel: (Default)
I just did a "friends cut." Granted 99% of the people I took off my friend's list hadn't updated in months and months. Quite a few of those hadn't updated in years even. Yes, it was long over due.

A handful of people I removed because they didn't update often and half the time I forgot they were even on my friend's list. If I removed you and you didn't want to be removed, let me know and I'll re-add you.

I went from having 116 people on my friend's list to 38. :O
sitaangel: (Default)
There is a phrase I’ve heard a lot about cheating and I’m sure some of you have heard it or something similar before too. The phrase (as I phrase it, ha):

If someone accuses you of cheating on them (for no reason) it’s probably because they are feeling guilty about cheating on you.

I’ve heard that or something similar to it so many times that it almost seems cliché and that it couldn’t possibly be true. Sadly, though, in my experience it’s as true as true can be. Every guy that has cheated on me had at one point accused me of cheating on them. That’s just crazy.

I was talking about this with a friend yesterday and she asked me what I would do if a future boyfriend ever accused me of cheating on him. If someone accused me of cheating on him I would have to end the relationship. Past experiences have dictated how I would react to something like that in the future. I don’t think I could ignore that in the past when I’ve been accused of cheating on someone it’s been because they’ve cheated on me. I can’t forget that. And while I’m more than willing to trust someone now, I’m not willing to put myself in such a situation again.

Now, I do know that someone could think I was cheating on them and not be cheating on me. In that case, the person has a lack of trust in me. That would really piss me off. I am trustworthy. I am honest. I do not believe in cheating on someone. I would never do that. And if someone actually, truly thought I was, that would hurt me. I wouldn’t want to be with someone who couldn’t trust me either. I deserve to be with someone who I can trust and who is willing to trust me. If I can trust you then dammit, you had damn well better trust me. ;)

So, long story short. If someone accused me of cheating on them it would be the end of the relationship. No matter the circumstances, it would never be true.
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